God Save The Sugekoma-kun! Volume 1, Chapters 1-4 _____ _ _____ _______ ___ ____ __ __ _____ __ ___ _ / __ / / _ \\ \ / __\/ __ \| || |/ ___/ |__|||||_| / / _\/_| / \ || |\ \ \ \|_| || || || || __| || | ||_| | |/_ | | | || | | | /\ \| __ |\ \/ /| |__ || ||||_/ \ \_/ /| \_/ || |/ / \___/|_||_| \__/ |___/ \_____/ \_____/ |_____/ ___ _ _ _ |||_______ ___--_ __ _ _ _____| |___ | | __| |_ |_______||___ _| / / / / | | \____ ____\| ||__ _|__ __|___ _|< < / /_ |_| | _ | | | | | | | | | | _ _| \_\/_/\__|(_) \ \| | | | / / | \___/ | \____| \_ / |_|__/ / \_____/ ___/ / |__/ |____/ Original story & art Copyright (C) 1993 Nagano Noriko/Kodansha This English translation Copyright (C) 1993 Goddess Studio Translation by Hiroshi Haga (heretic+@cmu.edu) Proofreading/notes by Iain Sinclair (axolotl@socs.uts.edu.au) CHARACTERS: Sugekoma 菅駒 Matsuzawa 松沢先生 Fujieda Junko 藤江田純子 Murata 村田 Tomoko トモ子 Nishikikouji Aoe 錦小路青江 Doctor Kashiwagi 柏木 < > Indicates dialog outside speech bubbles. ( ) Indicates dialog that is not spoken (ie., thought). [ ] Indicates a translator's note. ============================================================================= Chapter 1: "Teacher's secret" -------------- p.5 (Miss Matsuzawa is sitting on the school lawn, talking to two of her new students. The sun is shining, Disney-style birds are twittering, and everyone is happy.) girls: Wow!! You're a graduate of St. Felicia Women's College?? Junko: That's nice. Maybe I should aim for there, too! Matsuzawa: But St. Felicia is very strict. Tomoko: Matsuzawa: (I felt a bit anxious about my first job being at a co-ed school, but..) Matsuzawa: (I'm glad that everyone is so nice...) Matsuzawa: (Thank you, God and St. Maria.) (In the background, a geeky student with a blowpipe smiles evilly.) -------------- p.6 Matsuzawa: Ah! Sugekoma: Cool, it hit, it hit!! girls: Su-Sugekoma! Sugekoma: The pygmy paralysis dart works very well, doesn't it? Junko: 'Doesn't it'? Do you know what the hell are you doing! (Sugekoma drags off an unconscious Matsuzawa to the gym, where he ties her up with leather straps.) Matsuzawa: W-what is meaning of this, Sugekoma-kun!? [1] Sugekoma: Don't play innocent with me, you raccoon dog!! [2] Matsuzawa: R-raccoon dog!? Sugekoma: I, Sugekoma, am going to expose you, sly raccoon dog, for deceiving us innocent students! -------------- p.7 Sugekoma: First of all, these high heels!! Sugekoma: With these, you can bluff about your height, but... Sugekoma: ...actually, you're shorter than the average student!! Matsuzawa: Noooo, I'm sorry, forgive me!! Sugekoma: On top of that, those seemingly big breasts are... Sugekoma: ...in reality, formed by forcing up the fat on your belly, which is held in place with tacky mail-order lingerie!! Matsuzawa: Sugekoma: Sugekoma: Damn!! Her breasts are real!! You have out-done me, raccoon dog!! Matsuzawa: I'm telling you, I'm not a raccoon dog! Sugekoma: But, there is a definite, incommutable proof that you're a raccoon dog! -------------- p.8 Sugekoma: It's a 'tail'! Sugekoma: If I can find your tail, you're undeniably a raccoon dog!! Matsuzawa: A-ah, Mr. Sugekoma, I-I don't have any tail!! Sugekoma: If you don't, it's okay to be seen, right? (Junko smashes Sugekoma into the roof) Junko: OF COURSE NOT! Tomoko: Are you alright, Miss Matsuzawa!? Junko: What the hell are you thinking, you fucked-up pervert! Sugekoma: You guys are cruel... Sugekoma: I just wanted to say the punch line, "See!! You have a mark where your tail was!!"... that's all... But a punch line like this is too perverted to be published, no? girls: Aaarrrrggghhh! Asking whether or not it should be censored doesn't help if you said it already, pervert! Matsuzawa: What? What, what does he mean? [1] Sugekoma & Matsuzawa is an obvious pun on "S & M". "Sugekoma" is also probably a pun on "sukekoma" (playboy). BTW, when Matsuzawa says "Sugekoma-kun" it should be translated as "Mr. Sugekoma", but we use "Sugekoma-kun" because it's in the title of the manga. [2] The raccoon dog, or tanuki (狸), is a portly, cunning Japanese mythical creature. Every manga reader should know what a tanuki is. :-) ============================================================================== Chapter 2: 'Insect Great Operation' -------------- p.9 Matsuzawa: (Mmmmm... morning in the high plains, it's as if the angels took pleasure in making it.) Matsuzawa: (Everyone's sleeping late this morning, because they partied by the camp fire last night.) Matsuzawa: -------------- p.10 Sugekoma: Ha ha ha, I caught it, I caught a big one! Matsuzawa: S.. Sugekoma-kun! Sugekoma: So, insect collecting does depend on 'waking up early' and 'strategy' after all! I painted this tree with sugar water last night, actually! Matsuzawa: (He's kinda cute.) That's lovely, Sugekoma-kun. Matsuzawa: Look! There! There are beetles! Drone beetles, too! Goodness! Oh, my god, stag beetles!? Look at that! Sugekoma: You're not aware that you've been caught at all, are you, insect! Matsuzawa: Ack! A-ah, w-what are you doing!? Ah----! -------------- p.11 Sugekoma: Hahaha, now, you look just like an insect... Matsuzawa: Sugekoma: How do you like it? Matsuzawa: Huh? Sugekoma: Now do you feel like 'an insect who is caught and in great danger'? <...and somehow changed into the doctor's uniform unnoticed...> Matsuzawa: Why do I have to feel like that, tell me!! Sugekoma: Hmmm, that's too bad. With your naivete.... Sugekoma: 'Keep in captivity', 'Experiment', 'Observation', 'Mounted specimen', etc... you won't be able to bear any of that, your future miserable insect life. Matsuzawa: What!? Insect life? I don't want that!! -------------- p.12 Sugekoma: Be quiet! It's not like you're an endadngered species! If you get caught, you'll obey your captor, that's the logic, right!? (Animals: Mountain cat, crested ibis, guinea pig [3]) Sugekoma: Or is it just that? Miss Matsuzawa is an endangered species?? (^_^) Hmm? Matsuzawa: N-no, I am..not. Someone like me can't be one... Junko: Don't shout abnormal & perverted things in the morning! (Sound: Konnng... onnng... onn..) Flower: A-ah..what a nice echo it makes... Sugekoma: Alright... Sugekoma: There... go back to the forest... Matsuzawa: Junko: I don't understand what's going on, but it seems he doesn't still get it.... [3] The kanji for crested ibis (鴇) also means 'madam of a brothel'. ============================================================================== Chapter 3: 'Patient Patient' -------------- p.13 Matsuzawa: (The students came back from their summer vacation; each having grown in their own way, they approached the second semester in high spirits...) Matsuzawa: (Now, I should meet it in high spirits, too!!) Sugekoma: M-Miss Matsuzawa! Matsuzawa: Oh, Sugekoma-kun. What is it? Sugekoma: W-well, I...I have... -------------- p.14 Sugekoma: Miss Matsuzawa, I have a favour to ask of you... Matsuzawa: Is it something you can't ask unless you put me in this state? Sugekoma: Something like that... Sugekoma: There, be a good girl...it'll be over soon enough. Matsuzawa: Oh, please don't! What're you going to do, wearing the uniform again!? Sugekoma: I just want to give you a shot, that's all. Matsuzawa: What!? Sugekoma: Oh, gee, you're afraid of a shot? And you're a teacher? Matsuzawa: What shot? What kind of shot?? ...no, even before that, you can't give a shot to someone unless you have a license!! -------------- p.15 Sugekoma: Miss Matsuzawa...I... Sugekoma: ...read a lot of Summer's theme books and other good books and was greatly moved by them, so I want to become a respectable doctor when I grow up! Matsuzawa: Oh! Sugekoma: But, I can't become one, can I? Matsuzawa: Yes, you can!! Matsuzawa: Mr. Sugekoma, the future is yours, don't give up before you try! Sugekoma: Miss Matsuzawa! Sugekoma: Then it's okay to give you a shot!? Cool! Matsuzawa: How come it leads to that!? -------------- p.16 Sugekoma: I want to be able to say, 'I gave a shot to a living human', and have it inspire me into the future! Sugekoma: Can I? Matsuzawa: I don't like it, but you'll do it anyway, right? In this situation... Sugekoma: A-ah, for the first time since I was born, I give a shot to a living human... Matsuzawa: The shot's all you want from me, right, Sugekoma-kun? Matsuzawa: Hey, come on, tell me!? -------------- p.17 (Sugekoma hastily tries to conceal mountains of elaborate electronic equipment) Matsuzawa: Oh no! Bringing something like that to school again.... Sugekoma: Miss Matsuzawa... Sugekoma: Don't you want to play to doctors and nurses with me... no? Matsuzawa: No, of course!? Matsuzawa: Even before such a question, does a normal doctor use a device like that!? I don't want something like that! Sugekoma: But, you might eventually come to like it. Sugekoma: Life is always about "Trying"! -------------- p.18 (Junko (wearing an insulating apron) electrocutes Sugekoma) Junko: Then do it yourself! Sugekoma: Your loss, girls. Junko: What!? Sugekoma: I don't 'feel' anything even tortured like this! Sugekoma: Because I have that kind of taste! Tomoko: T-this guy's really... Matsuzawa: (I don't have it, either. But if I say it he'll try it again...) ============================================================================ Chapter 4: 'Save the Earth' -------------- p.19 Sugekoma: And therefore, I'd like to make 'Ecology' today's homeroom theme. student: ...like as if you're very important... Junko: Don't go up there! I'm the chairman! Sugekoma (addressing Nagano Noriko): Now, you thought I'd reply with a lame joke like "What? My front can stand it!?", but you thought that was really pushing it, didn't you! Nagano: I discarded the idea, so don't say it! ^_^; Matsuzawa: But don't you think it's an interesting topic to talk about, everyone? Sugekoma: Miss Matsuzawa! -------------- p.20 Sugekoma: You're the only one who understands me! Everyone else treats me like a weirdo.... Matsuzawa: Sugekoma-kun... Sugekoma: I just wanted everyone to know about the dangers facing our Earth.. Matsuzawa: I know, I understand. (A-ah, maybe he's really a good boy...) Junko: I think he's setting up a trap?... Sugekoma: So, everyone ready!? I'll explain by comparing me to "mankind" and Miss Matsuzawa to "the Earth"!! Sugekoma: Since ancient times, mankind lived in constant fear of Nature... Matsuzawa: Goodness, I'm a goddess... Sugekoma: But!! Before long, he had conquered Nature... Comment: Sugekoma: And the Earth was rapidly covered by 'Dead zones'. Matsuzawa: I was a fool to believe him.... -------------- p.21 Sugekoma: The first and the second industrial revolutions!! Matsuzawa: Sugekoma: World Wars I and II!! Matsuzawa: Sugekoma: And finally, the nuclear age... Matsuzawa: No!? Sugekoma: Starting with Los Alamos, and then Bikini Atoll, the nuclear tests are re-activated!! Chernobyl casts a shadow of death onto the blessing of the Earth!! Matsuzawa: A-ah... E-everyone, no, this is not what I wanted... Sugekoma: Ah, the Earth is in danger!! Sounds like a 'NHK Special' if you're only reading the dialog, doesn't it? [4] Junko: You...whenever we let you do something....! Matsuzawa: Junko: Everyone, rescue Miss Matsuzawa! [5] Sugekoma: Although the graveness of the situation was realized for a little while.... -------------- p.21 Sugekoma: Just then, as if overturning everything, THE GULF WAR! (Sugekoma puts a carbon dioxide mask on Matsuzawa's face, and Junko belts him with a model of DNA) Sugekoma: W-why are you looking at me like that... Sugekoma: Don't you want to know the fate of the Earth after the Gulf War!? Junko: Sugekoma: Isn't any perverted behavior forgiven if you're full of noble talk!? Junko: Who said such a thing! Matsuzawa: Aaah.. it doesn't matter, hurry up and help me... I'm about to d-die... [4] NHK = Japan's educational channel. [5] INF = The INF Treaty, which banned Intermediate-range Nuclear Forces. ==============================================================================