3. DAKKI-CHAN MAKES THE HOURAKU ------------------------------ 99. *Imperial Palace* -Taikoubou: Look, SiPuXiang. This is the enemy's headquarters, the imperial palace!! -SiPuXiang: It... it's huge... -Taikoubou: And the security's tight... There's no way we can get in. Let's go. -Taikoubou: And I'm hungry, too. We'll think about getting in after we get something to eat. -SiPuXiang: But we don't have any money. *We're out of luck.* ------------------------------ 100. Three - Dakki-chan Makes the Houraku ------------------------------ 101. -King Chu: Joutaifu (a high-rank government official) Baihaku... I hear that you were calling me a Hunjun (a fool king) behind my back? -Baihaku: ..... What's wrong with calling a Hunjun a Hunjun!? -Baihaku: You don't even pay attention to the political affairs and you're indulging in the utmost luxury with that vixen Dakki, and you've used up the imperial ancestors' fortune and the taxes from the people to build a useless tower...!! ------------------------------ 102. -Baihaku: What ever happened to the wise king you were before!? King Chu! Please realize what is happening!!! -Dakki: You're terrible... ...calling me a vixen... -King Chu: Oh Dakki, don't cry... -Dakki: I will kill myself!! I have failed as Your Majesty's wife!! -King Chu: Dakki... -King Chu: You! Insulting the empress means you are insulting me, also!! ------------------------------ 103. -King Chu: Behead him!!! -Dakki: Please wait! -Dakki: Never mind what he said about me, but calling Your Majesty a Hunjun is unforgivable. We should execute him in a more atrocious manner to show the others this is a serious crime. -Dakki: And I happen to know a very effective execution method! [The next day] -Dakki: All right! All clear! -Dakki: Stop! Now lower it down! ------------------------------ 104. -King Chu: Wh... what's this? -Dakki: It's called a Houraku! -Dakki: When you build a fire inside it and raise the temperature with those bellows, This bronze pillar turns bright red! -Dakki: Then you make the criminal hug the pillar. ---And that's how this execution device works! ------------------------------ 105. -King Chu: But you didn't have to make it yourself... -Dakki: I'm very good at manual arts! -Baihaku: This... -Baihaku: The Yin dynasty is over with... -Baihaku: King Chu... Please wake up... ------------------------------ 106. -Baihaku: AAAAAHHH!!! -Soldier: ug...! -Baihaku: AAH...! -King Chu: ...! ------------------------------ 107. *sound of them throwing up ^-^;;* -Shinkouhyou: ..... Dakki... -Shinkouhyou: ...Chintou was defeated by Taikoubou. And now your younger sister OuKijin when out to greet him. -Dakki: *thinking* What? [Capital city Chouka Western downtown 12:00 P.M.] *Fortune telling* ------------------------------ 108. *Donmura-ya* -Old man: My grandson got married today, so give me 4 celebratory red-bean buns. -Wood-seller: Firewood~~ Firewood for sale~~ -Wood-seller: What are you staring at, kid? You're telling fortunes? You don't look so believable... -Taikoubou: Insolent fellow!! -Wood-seller: !! -Taikoubou: I'm no kid! I am Taikoubou, a Doushi from KongRong!! -Wood-seller: D... Doushi-sama? ------------------------------ 109. -Wood-seller: What is a Doushi-sama doing telling fortunes down in the Human world? *People: Yeah! Yeah!* -Taikoubou: I can't tell you why, but I need money. -SiPuXiang: Why don't you just confess that you need it for food? -People: Are you SURE your divinations are true~~!? -Wood seller: Fine, wood-seller! I'll tell you your fortune!! I'll use this piece of firewood to do it! Watch me!! -Taikoubou: Firewood~~ firewood~~ Tell me~~ -SiPuXiang: Hey! Don't use the sacred Paopei for that!! -Taikoubou: Hmm! -Taikoubou: Are you ready? Go straight, due south. There will be an old man standing under a willow tree. He will buy all of your firewood for 120 mon (unit of money) and will even give you 4 red-bean buns and some wine. ------------------------------ 110. -Wood-seller: 120 mon and red-bean buns and wine... -Wood-seller: That bogus Doushi! I'm not that gullible! Something like that wouldn't happen in this time of recession...huh? -Wood-seller: .... -Old man: Oh! Are you selling firewood!? -Old man: You came at the right moment! How much is it? -Wood-seller: H... How about 50 mon? -Old man: 50 mon... that's a little expensive... Oh? -Old man: Th... that's a praying mantis' egg sac!! *this* ------------------------------ 111. -Old man: That's a good omen! My grandson just got married! It must mean that they'll have many children!! *bride / grandson* -Old man: 50 mon? No way! I'll pay 120 mon and give you some red-bean buns and wine, too!! *Fortune telling - if it works out, 20 mon!* *thank you~* ------------------------------ 112. -People: Tell me MY fortune!!! -People: Me too!!! -People: Me!!! -Taikoubou: Now now, line up! 30 mon a fortune!! And so Taikoubou's strange fortune-telling became unbelievably popular There were crowds of people lined up every day And of course, the rumors spread to even the imperial palace -Taikoubou: Look, SiPuXiang! We've made enough money to last us an year!! *Fortune telling - 50 mon a fortune!!* -Taikoubou: Business is fun! -SiPuXiang: Goshujin... I see you have completely forgot about the Houshin Project... *you're pathetic...* -People: Hey, Doushi-sama, hurry up!! ------------------------------ 113. -Taikoubou: Okay! Complying with your request... I'll show you my new piece of work : Fortune Telling with Sardines!! *THE Fortune Telling* *mob* -Taikoubou: SARDINES~~~!!! -Taikoubou: Sardines~~~ Sardines~~~ -Man: Wood-seller, can we really trust this guy? -Wood-seller: MY fortune came true! Really! -Woman: Doushi-sama... Sorry to interrupt you while you're tripping, but... ------------------------------ 114. -OuKijin: I'm kind of in a hurry. Could you tell me my fortune first? -Taikoubou: Idiot! Get in line like everybody else!! -Girl 1: Yeah! Get in line!! -Girl 2: Who do you think you are?! -Girl 3: You think you can get away with anything just because you're a little pretty?! *men* ------------------------------ 115. -Man: There! Please go ahead, miss! -OuKijin: Thank you! *Taikoubou: Terrifying...* -Taikoubou: ...Fine. -OuKijin: *thinking* Even Taikoubou is unguarded when he is telling fortunes... Let's try and see... ------------------------------ 116. -Kokutenko: Hey, why is OuKijin-chan having her fortune told? -Shinkouhyou: She's trying to find out Taikoubou's real abilities. -Shinkouhyou: ---But she might be the one caught in the trap. -OuKijin: *thinking* He might have defeated Chintou, but... -OuKijin: *thinking* if he's going to die this easily... ------------------------------ 117. -People: Run!!! -People: The Doushi-sama's gone berserk!!! -OuKijin: So you're not going to fall for it... And I guess you already know who I am... Oh well... ------------------------------ 118. -OuKijin: I am OuKijin! I'll show you the power of this Paopei "ShijuHagoromo"!! -Taikoubou: ! -SiPuXiang: She was a Youkai-Sennin!? ------------------------------ 119. -Shinkouhyou: Yes! They've started!! -Shinkouhyou: I just love Paopei battles! -Kokutenko: ...Hey! Taikoubou-kun's attack had no effect on her... -SiPuXiang: Here it is! Goshujin! She's definitely on the list!! -Shinkouhyou: Taikoubou's power can't even be compared to that of OuKijin's. Taikoubou is only 72 years old but OuKijin is well over a 1000... -Shinkouhyou: Now, what are you going to do, Taikoubou? ---------- Translations 1999ŠAkane Araragi